Please forgive my ramblings. I can't wrap my mind around the fact Betty is gone. Why was she seizure free for 9 months and now she's gone?? WHY?
She had a few mild seizures over the past couple months, but she was doing good. We were managing it. I'm still in shock that within 2 days, she's just gone from horrible, continuous seizures.
I can't stop questioning if I could have done something different for her. Was there something in the house that was a trigger and WHY didn't I recognize it?
Several doctors and a very dear friend with her own seizure dog have told me that this happens with seizure dogs. That this is the most frustrating thing about dogs with Epilepsy. One day they are fine and the next they are gone. But I still can't stop screaming WHY??
The loss of Betty is overwhelming. The sense of guilt I feel for not saving her is killing me. Should I have tried more medication? Should we have given her longer to adjust to the larger doses of Postassium Bromide? Was it too much medication? Did she suffer? Was she scared? Did she know how much I loved her up to the end? Someone please give me the answers to help ease my pain!!!
Stella and Gunther have both been in my lap trying to comfort me, but I feel guilty for loving on them because Betty is gone. Would she think I'm just moving on? How is it to know something logically but emotionally all I can rationalize is that I want my Betty back.