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Saturday, April 10, 2010

Betty on fabulous Frenchie flatulence.

 I hope you don't mind me saying, but It's hard being me.

I'm Frenchie fabulous people. When Dog made me, he broke the mold. 
I have ears that attract people from  50ft away. A face that's made for kissing. 
You can't tell, but my eyes are the lightest of greenish blue and my coat is oh so silky soft.

So what's the problem you ask? We'll I'll tell you. 
It's the cross that all fabulous Frenchies must bear....

FREQUENT FLATULENCE  

And not just your average, everyday fartiness. These are potent enough to break even the most seasoned man and woman. I've seen it.

 Nope, this isn't McCain responding to a reporter's inappropriate question.
A Frenchie walked by. And you guessed it... gas was passed.

Think Hillary is tired of people always making fun of her pant suits? Au contraire...
A Frenchie fart was responsible for this breakdown.

Even the parent's favorite comedian humiliated his poor Frenchie on national television.


Occasionally Stella will let one rip, but it's really rather weak. Instead of passing wind, it's more of a whisper if you ask me.


Bottom line (no pun intended) I know Stella and Gunther love me, but sometimes my O' de Frenchie can be a little too much for them.

So I've decided to make some fabulous farty Frenchie friends I can talk and commiserate with.

Most of you already know Stella's sweetie Brutus. He's a handsome and athletic lad. He must really work up some righteous gas with all that agility he's doing.

You guys also know our furiends Benny and Lily. So much Frenchie fabulousness under one roof... I wonder if their mom buys candles in bulk?

And, I have 2 new furiends!

First I'd like everyone to meet Bunta. He lives in Kyoto, Japan with his family. He has the most impressive Frenchie flatulence I have seen thus far! He wards off evil cats with his noxious gas. We must find a way to harness this power in the United States.

Next, I'm tickled pink to introduce you to a very special furiend. His name Basil Brown. He's not only special because he's a fabulous farting Frenchie, but because he is a French Bulldog Rescue Network graduate just like me! His family installed floor to ceiling mirrors so he could spend countless hours admiring his Frenchiness. It's what we do...
I'm sure he would appreciate a few new furiends to stop by and compliment him on his perfectness. 

I must be going now. There's poo to recycle and naps to be taken.
Au revoir,
Betty

30 comments:

Frankie Furter said...

Hi guys, I feel just terrible about this... I really wanted to read your blog beclaws... I kind of get into that fart stuff... BUTT (pun intended) for somereason your blog came up with a really DARK background and the words were Red (I THINK). I couldn't read it. I even went into my toy room where it is kind of dark.. nope. Sorry. I even SNIFFED the screen and keyboard, hoping to get a "hint" about what your were saying. My Loss..darn it.

Those Elgin Pugs said...

HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE...SNORT...

OMD...TOO FUNNY!!!!Betty, Betty, Betty, What are they to do with you? With thinks they should tie an air freshener to your tail!!!

love and toots,
Josie, Izzy and Anakin

Benny and Lily said...

Betty,
You described our lives as if you lived with us. Do you believe what us Frenchies go through. Mom said she has a gas mask when we let a stinky one loose. Since we eat Natural Balance Potatoe and Donald Duck, we have less stinkys..BOL..
thank you for introducing us to your new friends.
Luv
Benny & Lily
Pee.S. mom said something about pee pee in her pants every time she looks at your header.
Pee Pee S. What is wrong with recycling anyhow?

mayziegal said...

Betty - all I can hopes is that you and your kind use this Most Awesome power for goods and not for evils!

Wiggles & Wags,
Mayzie

PeeS. My Cuzin Bridger is an Italian Spinone! Imagine that. I have French furends and an Italian Cuzin!

RILEY AND STAR said...

Hi Guys,

Well we are just rolling on the floor laughing our butts off! One thing for sure, you guys don't need an Exterminator at your house!

From what you are say'n, you could kill just about anything with those toots!

You guys are just too funny!

Luv ya,
Riley and Star.

the booker man said...

miss betty,
just think how icky you'd feel if you tried to hold all those toots inside to make everybuddy happy. i mean, you'd blow up like a balloon. you just can't do that! so toot with pride!!
*woof*
the booker man

Lola said...

This post just makes me miss my Daddy even more. He's human, not a Frenchie, but he farts a lot, too. Quite a lot.

wags, Lola

Hank said...

BOL!!!

This actually makes me feel sorry for Hillary Clinton!

Puglette said...

hi betty! what a fabulous frenchie post! i think our ollie must have some frenchie mixed in with his pugginess. he's rather farty...in fact he just let a stinker go right this second! i am totally not kidding...i must go get the gas mask out! kaff, kaff, kaff!!
hugs,
puglette
:o)

BRUTUS said...

Ah, yes - such a thing to be famous for! Someone should compile a novel about our gastric escapades, maybe more like a set of encyclopedias. Mom gives me probiotic now every night and I gotta tell ya - it reduced my noxiousness by like 90%. Maybe you should try it! Our vet says all her Frenchies do better on it too.
Thanks for telling us about Basil! Always looking to meet fellow frogdogs, especially FBRNers!!

Snorts-
Brutus the Frenchie

Mango said...

Hey! I am not a Frenchie, but I do know all about farting.

Slobbers,
Mango

agent99 said...

PPFFFfffft.

Sequoia & Petunia said...

Oh Betty we loves you no matter how stinkys you are!

Tucker said...

For a little thing you sure pack a punch huh? I'm more of a burper myself but even once in awhile I cash in a good toot when I'm in the car.

woof - Tucker

Tweedles -- that's me said...

We love you stinky and all.
But I have a wonderful idea.
You know those little green trees that are air freshners- well everyone could wear one as a necklace and then they could smell sweetness. Problem resolved
love
tweedles

Twinkietinydog said...

What a fabulous and funny post! It's okay you're making fun of my furiend, Betty. I guess we all tease each other from time to time and we're all stinkers to some degree. Gunther does look terribly shocked though.
Allergies? Hmm, I wonder if that's why Frankie's been wheezing a bit. I really don't know much but if I learn something, I'll share it with you.
Twinkie

animal lover, quilt lover said...

Hi Stella, Betty and Gunther,
I know Bambi is just a mutt but she had some WHOOO gas when we first got her too. Tom got her a Digestion pill for her gas. It is made by Renew Life. In less than a week taking the digestion pill once a day, her gas was gone. Again I know she is just a mutt, but it helped her big time!!!!
Hope to help, Fern

Life With Dogs said...

ROFL! I am seriously impressed! You have some serious skills.
We share a favorite comedian. he's a riot...

Ronnie said...

Pee Eww! You pugs got me laughing today when nothing else did.

Dana Orsborn said...

Hi Betty!

You are one sexy Frenchie!
Don't worry about the farts.
Just walk away from them quickly and
pretend it wasn't you. Penny is
afraid of her own farts.

She has the power to fart me out of a room in under 30 seconds.

Your new friends look fun!
We'll have to stop by their blogs
and say hello.

Hope you had a great weekend!

-Dana & Penny

GAIL said...

Farts are so funny, especially when they're really stinky. You must keep your family so amused!

Bunta + Yumi said...

Oh, boy!
That is very true.
I fart all the time and sometimes surprised by the big sound, so I always ask Mom, "Hey! did you just fart!?" 'cause I can't believe that big noise comes out of my butt...

Well, thanks for introducing me to your friends!! :D :D

PeeS.
I send our address by e-mail, so pleace check!

Bunta

Goodboy Norman Featherstone said...

Oh Betty, I wouldn't mind your flatulence one bit!!

Melissa and Emmitt said...

LOL Betty!
you always make us smile!
thank you so much for introducing us to your friends.
emmitt says fartiness is his favorite thing. it is the gift that keep son giving and can silently clear a room like magic!
xoxox
m & e

Pearl said...

BOL! Betty you are TOO stinkin' (pun intended) CUTE!!!!

I am always startled by my own farts. I let one out, and then I run from it!!!

Wilma said...

Betty,
I think farts are funny.Mine make little noises but no stink. Brigitte, wowzers, she could probably compete with yours. They slide out silently, and then sneak up and tickle your nose. I don't think Sluggo does any farts, unless he's blaming them on Brigitte.

Salinger The Pug said...

Oh man...Betty! Put a cork in it (literally) because we think we can smell your noxious fumes all the way here in Indy!

Chicken makes me fart....so I make sure to snuggle up with someone right after I eat some.

Mom was all "squeeeee" when she watched the video of Mr. Wick (she loves him too and we DVR him every night!!!!). She calls him "a right sexy bastard" whatever that means.

Good luck with your gas. Ugh.

Love,
S-Dog

Debbie said...

Hilarious. Us Pugs do our bit of toxic sharing as well. I can wake myself up with my Puggie explosions :)

Pink Thumb said...

Aww Betty, You're too sweet for spreading the frenchie and pug love over to me. Mom (I mean, I) could use some more furiends. :D

Anonymous said...

I was feverishly searching Google for some fart relief from our new Frenchie puppy and came upon your blog. You are too hilarious and speak the truth to a tee! Thanks for the laugh this morning, although I must keep searching for that perfect fart remedy. I knew Frenchies fart a lot but didn't quite understand the potency...and she's only 8 pounds! I can only imagine the fart horror of a Frenchie that is 25 pounds.

Rene'